We'll take our bikes and explore the city centre tonight. The streets around Westminster and Parliament seem to be as peaceful as the moon is bright, but it won't be long before daylight comes and this bottle of vodka is almost empty. We best be on our way back home. I'm sorry Sir, but we weren't to know that the pools around the palace statue weren't there for wading. Send my apologies to the Queen. It was foolish of me to think that the use of this water was free and that the palace was owned by the people. The brain sends pulses to vocal chords, I relay the message that even though we don't know what we've done this for, at three in the morning we still know it was worth it. We tasted victory this night over apathy and exhaustion, the age old adolescent motto "I'm bored, theres nothing to do".
Its 40 minutes down the road but we can make it if we run. 10 minutes later we were waiting outside with extra ticket stubs, but it was worth the sprint just to get in and shuffle to the front and i just sank in. When the city was ours we cycled everywhere in one night, sipping vodka from the bottle on the backstreets on your bike. The skyscrapers and endless miles all sank into the river and we all fell over. They were the moments we believed, don't turn the light out when you leave and even when theres holes in our pockets we'll sit on the bridge or get lost in a forest and talk about turning circles and coasting it in and how big the next hole you'll dig will be. I'll never look at phone boxes and bus stops the same again because of the midnight trips with milk and chocolate when we semi-vandalised them, but the endless hours I recovered from then, when I couldn't catch my breath, I'd do it all over again. You said "I'll pick you up at 8 and we'll go driving in my jeep and we'll go off road along the ridgeway until its too dark to see" and even though I got the middle seat and my head ricochet off the roof, I'd kill to be there now. And I wonder how differant things could have been. Where I else could I have been when new year chimed in while we were on the bus? Or when you put petrol in the diesel before an all night drive the beach? But I cant remember laughing as much as we did then
Deconstructing Jims Shoulder
I was one step behind you with a ringing in my ears and the words locked in my head and as the thousands of us crowded forward, maybe to see or hear, but mostly to feel. It reminded me of the months before when we would drive for hours and sing at the top of our lungs until the words became our own. It became like a soundtrack of the year and forever after. Here we were, counting the seconds till the start and all the while it seemed like an ending. And I pushed on hoping you were beside me and I watched it come to life and fucking explode infront of me. I could drown in that memory today. And we will talk about that moment forever even when you're on the other side of the world. I looked around me and everyone was there but for now I just wish you were all here
Soak up all the strain and cast out all the old complaints. She didn't work this hard to give up and let death stake a claim. 20 years, 1 month and 27 days. Is this all she gets? A striking realisation that the cross she had to bear wasn't half as heavy as the burden that now hangs around her neck. I wont miss this when it's gone. What is there to say, another fumbled consolation cuts the air but seems to fail in every way. You can't sum up in two lines the cost to a mother that outlives her child, so why bother. A solemn promise that times a great healer, from someone that could never understand quite how much that she needs her. I guess it takes less time to formulate the answers to all the questions why than it does to understand them. I'm not talking about experts, medicine or science, there's folly in believing these things will ever satisfy her when memorys of a body strapped with wires leaves her lost. I want to scream until my lungs bleed "I'm glad your son died on the cross" , but i bite my lip and hold my tongue because everybody needs a safety net and i think she chose the right one.
Justine's Housemate Lives In London
So i opened a can of worms all over the floor. Now your floor moves like bath water but you're still no closer to knowing what i mean. We're going round in circles and we're right back to the start. Well you can put your hand in my hand but it's not going to happen. I hate to have to say that everything's not fine and dandy, but there's a fly in my apple juice and he told me to blame it all on you. An hour on the train and we'll be on our way to Jim's house where we'll waste a day in front of the tv set, and tommorow we'll cycle round tonights regrets, looking up on a city looking down on us, searching for the things that we just love to do. The easiest way to lose something is to hold on too tight, so cut my hands off and put them in my pockets bitch, i'll be needing them tonight. It's alright to put me back together with the help of my broke guitar. He said that would be alright and everythings going to be ok. It'll be ok